Jack Van Impe (And Rexella) PREMILLENNIAL DISPENSATIONALIST "God's called me to be a spokesman to warn people (about Preterism) today, Rexella."

"The World Will Never End."

 

"In Zechariah 14.. their flesh dissolves away, because of the plague hitting them for coming against the Jews in Jerusalem.  When did that happen? I've never read when flesh dissolved; it can now, because of necrotizing fasciitis, or the neutron bomb, but not in 70AD." - Jack Van Impe (1/8/5) "When did He come? When did he set up that kingdom?"

DISPENSATIONALIST DEMENTIA
"Procreation still takes place during this era of time because those who survived the tribulation hour enter the Millennium with human bodies.  The believers upon the thrones possess resurrected bodies and do not bear children, but the others do."  (Revelation Revealed, p. 239)

"Those who oppose the teaching of a literal one-thousand year reign of Christ upon earth are in direct opposition to the Word of God!" (Revelation Revealed, p. 233)

"Only the spiritually blind can deny the fact of a literal millennium.  Only the willfully ignorant can claim that the teaching is based on just one chapter of the Bible." (Revelation Revealed, p. 236)

"Procreation still takes place during this era of time because those who survived the tribulation hour enter the Millennium with human bodies.  The believers upon the thrones possess resurrected bodies and do not bear children, but the others do.  Consequently, the children born during this one-thousand-year period are born with the old Adamic, or sin nature which has been an inherent part of man ever since the fall of man ever since the fall of Adam and Eve.  Many of them, of course, accept Christ as their personal saviour, but many do not!  Satan's release, then, is to determine whether or not Christ is real to these children of the Millennium, or whether they have been submissive simply because He ruled with a 'rod of iron.'" (Revelation Revealed, p. 239)

"By the year 2001, there will be global chaos. (It will) usher in international chaos such as we've never seen in our history.. drought, war, malaria, and hunger afflicting entire populations throughout the [African] continent..." ("On the Edge of Eternity")

“The number “6” in Roman numerals is made up of the letters, “VI”. The ancient Greek number “6”  was taken from the sixth letter of their alphabet, the letter “sigma” which looks like the English letter “s.” Returning  to the Babylonian  empire and their sexagesimal system of numbers, the [computer]  programmer  considered that the possibility that their letter “A’ equaled 6.  Thus,  from the three great world empires of history, he found that the composition of the number “666” spells the word VISA – the exact name of today’s most accepted and popular credit card” (11:59 and Counting, pp.106,107)

 

(JVI's Refutation of Preterism)
Jack : The Preterist view is the one that all the prophecies of the Bible happened in the first century, and therefore have no relationship to today.  Oh, really?  When did we ever see 1/3 of the earth burned (Revelation 8:7)?  

1/3 of humanity destroyed through fire, smoke and brimstone  (Revelation 9:18)? When did we ever see every living creature in the sea die (Revelation 16:3)?  Or the battle of Armageddon fought in the earth (Revelation 16:16), accompanied by the greatest earthquake in history (v.18), accompanied by chucks of ice 120 pounds in weight falling to the ground (v.21)  ?

You better re-think your view.

Rexella: So in other words, people who believe in the Preterist theory believe that all the things that we look, say will come, have already happened.

Jack: Yes. Matthew 24, Mark 13, Luke chapter 17,21, have happened, and all these things are passe, finshed - baloney!  (laughter)  

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"Video Review"  @ SurfMetro.com By Seanbaby

If you're anything like me, you spent January 1, 2000, in sheer panic, sure that the world was about to end and humping all the things you secretly wanted to hump during all those years of non-anarchy.  And after society decided NOT to melt down into chaos, you were stuck in an awkward situation, probably with a cantaloupe down your pants.  It could have been more embarrassing, though.  You could have been a biblical prophet.

YOUR HOSTS, DR. JACK VAN IMPE AND REXELLA

2000 Time Bomb is an 80-minute newscast about the end of the Earth hosted by the most cheerful doomsayers you'll ever meet, Dr. Jack Van Impe and his wife Rexella.  As they lovingly announce on the back of their video's box, ''See how the effects of this predicted computer catastrophe coincide with Bible prophecy regarding the coming of the Lord and the latter days of time on this earth!''  Right next to that sentence describing the simultaneous horrors about to destroy all life on our planet is this picture of Dr. Jack and Rexella grinning.

That doesn't inspire confidence.  How are viewers going to believe that we're all about to die if the people telling us look like they're on their way to a dinner party?  I'm not saying Jack and Rexella have to use a picture of themselves stealing an armful of canned goods from a convenience store, but their predictions of Armageddon would be more believable if they used a photo where they were at least screaming in panic.

Both of the hosts have a special talent to help spread fear through God's love.  Dr. Jack, for example, can take a line from the Bible about ANYTHING, interpret it into a prophecy about Y2K, and blow his own mind with it.  ''Izekiel 12:25; 'And lo he doth braid the hair of the pony...' think about that: some computers have braided wires... and ponies are nature's calendars... praise the word of God!  You see this millenium crisis was predicted right here in the Bible!''

Rexella acts as the video's comic relief.  She doesn't slip on banana peels or wisecracks, but she will make you laugh every 30 or 40 seconds when the camera cuts to show how completely baffled she is by the insanity coming out of her husband's mouth.  Her confused nod gets its best workout in one segment where Dr. Van Impe (hysterically pronounced ''Impie'') explains how Heaven is broken up into three areas.  There's Heaven Number One, which is our atmosphere, made up of the ionosphere, the stratosphere (he lists all the atmospheric layers here to show off his education, but it sort of backfires since I could swear he puts a ''pancake-osphere'' in there somewhere).  Then there's Heaven Number Two, which is from the top of our atmosphere into outer space.  The Third Heaven, which is ''unpronounceable,'' is past outer space.  It's where God lives.  Now, Satan was kicked out of Heaven Number Three, so that means he currently controls outer space and our atmosphere.  And stay with me here, since he controls the air in our atmosphere... he controls the electricity!  That, of course, means Satan controls our computers.  And while viewers are trying to wrap their heads around that, Rexella interrupts to say, ''Satan could sure take advantage of the situation.''  Whether you follow the advice of two insane people sending their message of panic out on electrodes controlled by Satan or not, you have to admit we're in a lot of trouble.

SATAN!

Now that you have no illusions that Satan isn't behind our computer problems, you're ready to hear more from the back of the 2000 Time Bomb box: ''The so-called 'millenium bug' could scramble the electronic minds of computers worldwide in the year 2000... and the universal panic inspired could be the catalyst for the rise of the antichrist, the mark of the beast '666' system for buying and selling, and the advent of the great tribulation!''

Take careful note of how Dr. Jack and Rexella only say the possible computer crash COULD be the catalyst for Satan and the 666 system for buying and selling.  That way, in the unlikely event that the ground doesn't start spitting out demons after your toaster stops working, they don't look like complete idiots.

By the way, the 666 system of buying and selling is a specialized type of commerce designed by Satan where no one is able to buy or sell any goods unless they have ''666'' carved into their foreheads.  Many finance experts argue that this is a superstitious and unrealistic theory, and given the nature of economics, Satan would still sell goods to everyone and only offer a 10% discount to customers branded with the furious mark of his name, not valid with other offers.

IT'S NOT JUST US!  IT'S EXPERTS TOO!

On 14 separate occasions I counted, Dr. Jack stops preaching to make it very clear that it's not just he and his wife who think we're screwed, it's qualified experts.  Because even though Jack mentions that God Himself told the two of them to make this tape'' and warn the small section of the public insane or stupid enough to buy it, he doesn't want to take all the blame just in case God was only kidding.

SCIENTERRIFIC SCRIPTURTASTIC PROOF

The final proof of the validity of the Y2K prophecies is how Dr. Van Impe heard a Utah senator say, ''I'm not going anywhere near a plane on December 31, 1999.''  We've only had airplanes since the turn of the century, and the Bible makes several mentions of flying people.  I hope you're almost convinced because there are only two more sentences of his argument: ''We couldn't have that [type of flying device] three or four, five hundred years ago; that's a tremendous sign.  As the birds fly, so will the Lord.''  There are Japanese game shows about business men putting on diapers and sitting on pies that make more sense than Dr. Van Impe, and the scariest part is that this part of the video is where Rexella's blank stare disappears.  Once you start talking about ancient flying people and how they prove the downfall of our future society, she's right there with you.

WE'RE DEAD, WE'RE SO DEAD
Inside each electronic device is a firmware chip, and when the year 2000 comes around, all of them will malfunction.  This means more than just your clock radio waking you up 100 years late.  Our nuclear weapons will launch, our prison doors will open up and our intravenous drip machines will drip only murder.  And remember, this is according to both God AND experts.  However, Dr. Jack explores this issue of imbedded firmware chips further than most experts when he reminds us that Satan controls all electricity from the Earth to the end of outer space, and the Bible says there will be an ''incredible battle in space'' with ''dragons and angels.''  He never explains what any of this has to do with toaster microchips, but I think you'll agree that it sounds totally sweet.

OOPS
Y2K came and went without a single antichrist dropping out of a rip in the sky, but Jack and Rexella weren't completely wrong to spend an hour and a half making us panic; a cash register in Singapore did slightly malfunction for a few minutes.  Christianity isn't an exact science, so if you're a religious person, 2000 Time Bomb's massively failed predictions might not completely destroy your belief that a red man with a pitchfork is hiding inside your microwave.  Personally, my faith in religion was shattered.  I don't care if Jesus' face appears on a tortilla I'm eating to sing a song about seatbelt safety, I'm not falling for it.  The only miracle that occurred at the dawn of the millennium is that three million videos and books on Y2K survival magically disappeared from stores without even hitting the discount bins.  Thank God they missed this one, though.